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Posts Tagged ‘divorce’

I realise you are probably in emotional turmoil right now. Being dumped all of a sudden is a hard pill to swallow. You may well still love them and want to get your ex back.

Most people on finding out they are single again will readily accept it and try to move on. If your relationship was more than a few months then chances are there was love there, so why should you accept being dumped? It’s your choice, and yours alone to try and get your ex back. Here are a handful of tips to help decide.

1 – Does over mean over?

This depends, if the relationship was ok and there were no special circumstances like violence or abuse. Then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t decide to give it another go. Often times people accept things when they needn’t. It’s your right to try and rekindle things and get your ex back. After all, you don’t usually just fall out of love.

2 – What’s the next step?

This is a great time to give yourself a time out and get your emotions under control. You may ruin every chance you have if you attempt to win your ex back while in an emotionally unstable state. Your ex will also appreciate a bit of time alone, especially if they ended it. If you don’t pester them they will see you as being mature enough to handle things. This puts you in good stead when you do try to woo them back.

3 – What’s the plan, man?

You probably don’t have a plan right now and there are two roads you can travel here. Make your own plan up, or use a plan that has been used successfully in the past. I realise you are probably thinking “how do I copy someone else”. But fear not. Many people have written many things on this subject and we can borrow their expert knowledge.

4 – Where can I get that plan?

Ok, here are your choices, all the info you need is out there in one form or another for free. Your problem lies in finding it all and sorting the wheat from the chaff. And there’s a lot of chaff, let me tell you. Or you can take a short cut and buy a ready made step by step system with everything you need laid out in easy steps.

I know which one I would be going for as more than likely time is of the essence here. If your ex dumped you then you can bet they are looking to move on. This is where you can step back in and make them see the error of their ways. If you want to get your ex back you need to do it before they hook up with someone new.

If you need to discover how to get back together using a step by step system, check out this website…

MakeupNotBreakup.com

… Getting your ex back should be your choice, not left to fate.

Do you have the feeling that everyday conflicts are becoming harder to tolerate?

Do you have a feeling that you need to defeat the other, in order to restore the balance?

Let’s discuss how to manage interpersonal conflicts to avoid the “winner” “looser” idea in a situation…

There are some reasons to explain why you think that  “winning” over an argument will allow you to move on with the problem.

Maybe because of the most common perspective that you fight for a scarce resource; forcing you to “fight for the last bottle of water.”

The problem is when it only about “winning” you will see the opponent as someone that has to be defeated, transforming the person you love into an ‘enemy’.

The battle scenario would look like this:

1. The bad one is competing with you for a scare resource.
2. As result of this situation only one of you can be a winner:
3. If you attack first, he will counter attack..
4. If he move first, you will feel compelled to react and ‘defend’ your self.
5. Whatever course of action, the only possible issue will be escalating the dispute.

Things to note here:

• Even if you want to avoid the conflict, inaction will create the conditions for the other to do the first move forcing you to react.
• Unless you step back and find another way, there can not be a real winner. 
  Even if you win over the resources, the price to pay is undermining your relationship.
• If you too afraid to take action and radically change the way you approach this confrontations, the only option left is to fight.
• Unresolved confrontations can lead to more tension in the relationship.
• Failed communication leads to more isolation, pain, and anger.

Now if your repeat this scenario over and over, the value of your relationship will decrease with each round..

What do you really need to change this pattern?

Remember the real “relationship” lies beneath. It is alive and well and full of love.

Just don’t make this small ‘negotiation’ compromise your relationship.

Managing conflicts through positive techniques can help you learn more ways to resolve conflicts.

Neil Warner

PS: Need Results fast? get your Freen copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts: Transforming Confrontations into Relationship Harmony,”

Do you currently feel that confronting is a sure lose a loved one? 
Are you somewhat skeptical of the idea of ‘positive conflicts’?
What if conflicts provide the seeds for a change?
What if a confrontation was not a message of reject, but a reach out for help and recognition?

Think about your reasons to confront someone..
When you initiate a confrontation, ,

Is it that You feel the need of recognition and confirmation from your partner?
OR
It is because you want to destroy your relationship or harm your the other party?

You would say that it is about recognition and confirmation.

You would not know exactly how to react when you are in the midst of confrontation.
Positive conflict techniques will allow you to negotiate your point while giving your partner the same recognition.

This is what you need to know about conflict:

• Conflict can be recognized at an early time, giving you a chance to control things before they get out of hand.
• Conflict is inevitable, it is a part of every relationship, and it’s needed. Without it, the relationship may stall, and die.
• Although inevitable, once accepted and planned for, conflict can be minimized, diverted, managed and resolved.
• Don’t be surprised or scared by it, just be prepared.
• There are strategies for resolution that are available and DO work.
• You can always determine what needs change in your relationship.

Some people think that conflicts and confrontations are to be avoided at all costs. 
As a result, they get so good at avoiding them, that they are blocked by their own limitations, reaching always the same dead ends.

But how can you void this trap?

If you see that each conflict is an opportunity to get you two closer, if confrontations can be used to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, then there is no need to fear losing your loved ones. Confrontation is not only to clash forces or ideas but it is an opportunity to build a more solid foundation in your relationship..

Neil Warner
PS: Need Results fast?
Visit our site and get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts“

Do you wonder why your strong emotion hurt your partner and destroy a good relationship?
Can you overcome your anger, instead of being overcome by it? Yes- if you change your mindset and attitude. This means that you must stop making excuses for your bad temper. You must bear in mind that anger is your enemy!
Uncontrolled anger can be very devastating. It can reveal your true nature. Anger is a negative emotion and it shatters relationship and breeds violence.

Is It Good To “Let it Rip?”

If you are using this excuse to hurt others, what you do not know is that it escalates anger and it does not help to resolve the situation.

To solve the problem of anger you must recognize the anger within your mind. You must apply practical methods in your daily life to control your anger.

To stop your uncontrolled behavior, you must know its symptoms. You will learn how to recognize them and stop it at an earlier time.

These are the symptoms of uncontrolled behavior:

• Always thinking about detailed plans to commit acts of violence
• Threatening others
• Failing to acknowledge the feelings of others
• Feeling rejected
• Withdrawal from friends
• Loss of temper

So what is the best solution?

You should find out what triggers your anger and then develop strategies to control your anger.

You may also want to ask yourself these questions :

Is your anger important or reasonable enough?

Is it possible that you are responsible for making the situation complicated?

Some ways to help you control your anger:

Anger Management can help you learn to control your reactions or get rid of the things that enrage you

• Simple relaxation tools can calm down angry feelings such as deep breathing, yoga-like   exercises, visualization of a relaxed experience
• It helps if you change your environment where you can have a fresh view of things and get away from the usual and irritating place.
• Choose less hurtful words and don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, think carefully about what you want to say.
• Use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Don’t use sarcastic humor because it will still escalate anger
• Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
• Anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational so always remind yourself that you’re just experiencing some hard times in your life.

Every problem has a solution. But the best mentality is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions

PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts“
You may also want to check out this online anger management class

Building longer and peaceful relationship with someone is one source of happiness.
We all want to build a loving and lasting relationship but it is not that easy. Some things happen beyond your control and you find yourself unable to handle it.
One of the hindrances in loving relationships is anger. Anger is a strong emotion. Whether you choose express it or not, it is still one thing that is going to do some damage.
What if you have ever loved someone who was angry at the world? Can you imagine what your life would be like in the years to come?
When one becomes really angry it creates a need to try to control everything. The effects of being angry is the damage done to the relationship. The effects of anger can progress from mild irritation, to yelling or maybe physical abuse.
You may argue or fight intensely and anger seems to boil in degrees.

But ask yourself:
Does this help our relationship healthy?

Here’s some facts about anger and how it can destroy your relationship:

• Anger can quickly destroy a relationship that has been good for a long time.
• Your self-esteem and confidence can be affected by anger.
• - Anger does affect trust and love.
• Anger is full of uncertainty and fear, it makes you say and do things that you will regret.

Too much anger in your relationship can affect the intimacy between you and your partner.Being in a chaotic situation will make you unhappy and can cause more ill feelings that would eventually destroy your intimacy.
Trust and honesty can be destroyed by anger so easily and it wears off intimacy in your relationship. Harsh words, criticism and non-acceptance  are the causes of anger and this can affect the intimacy of your relationship.

Anger can also cause blaming and criticism where you lash out at each other’s feelings.

 Blaming and criticizing also leads to a lack of intimacy and even more conflict in the long run.

If your relationship is truly valuable and you want to protect the emotional bond you that you have invested, the two of you should accept and understand each other. Do not allow anyone of you to erupt into criticism. Instead, find ways to discuss it in a civilized manner with a clear mind and open heart.

To your happiness!
Neil Warner,

PS: To know more on Anger Management,
Visit our Site “Positive Conflicts“

If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship for a long time, you may loose your ‘inner compass’ and can become convinced that you are not worthy of love and respect.

Try to honestly answer this questions to yourself:

• Is your ultimate fear to be left alone, without no one to love you?
• Do you sacrifice your own wishes, just to please your partner?
• If your partner abuses you, do you become submissive?
• Do you do things that you do not like just to make your partner feel good?

If you are in a relationship wherein emotional abuse happens everyday, the effects are dangerous than any form of abuse because it can be frequent. Emotional abuse can be subtle, it makes you feel that you are the problem or it is your problem. It makes you doubt your self-worth and erodes your self-esteem.

Here are the negative effects of long-term emotional abuse:

• Low self-esteem
• Emotional Stress
• Health Problems
• Depression
• Isolation
• Alcohol or drug use

You may seem introverted, quiet, or may appear confident and extrovert, which is an act to fool the outside world so that you can hide the humiliation you are experiencing. You may have deliberately chosen not to seek help but decided to deal with it. But ongoing contact can drag you back in the abusive situation again and again.

You must try to do something if your partner is unwilling to seek help or knowledge.
The recovery process is long and painful. In the end, you may decide to hurt yourself, it may influence your mentality. Long-term emotional abuse may result to suicide. You would feel unlovable and unworthy.

Proper counseling will help stop this chain of suffering once and for all.

To your happiness,

Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts
Claim your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship‘

Did you think that love will conquer all?, if yes you are well advised to read all this article. The problem is that often people get married with the idea that their chemistry or undying love for each other will keep them together forever.

Think about how you got together, was it through friends, work or a online dating site like match or plenty of fish?, also known as plentyofish, did you really give yourself enough time to get to know each other?

However, with a very high percentage of marriages ending in divorce these days, it’s obvious that a lot of marriages that start out well still fail. Therefore if you want your marriage to be a long time success it pays to know a few little secrets before getting married. Here are a number of tips for staying together longer:

Over the years, people often drift apart or relationships and marriages become stale because couples fail to do new and special things together.

That’s why going on new and different dates is so important. In fact, there is something about  dating” that creates a sense of magic in a relationship and can even bring relationships out of a rut.

While on a date, you also put more effort into your appearance, have more uninterrupted time to communicate on a deeper level and are naturally drawn closer together.

Stuck for new ideas?, just try using Google and search for fun and interesting activities in your local town, city or state, you will be surprised at what you can find.

It’s a well documented statistic that couples who have dated for a year or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period.

A year of dating gives time for many emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may adore someone in the spring, but despise him or her in the winter.

Asking someone for his or her hand in marriage on the third date isn’t romantic, it’s really very silly, it may work for a few people but for most it will end in tears.

Often times, as a relationship ages, partners tend to stop praising each other because they ‘assume’ their partner already knows what they’re thinking.

When in reality, a day should never go by without you praising your partner. Compliment them on their cooking, reaffirm that they’re the greatest person in the world or tell them they’re a wonderful role model. If you want to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first. When they’re feeling loved, it is much easier to love in return.

Are you a super supporter of what your mate does and says? So do you cheer them on and praise them constantly? Or do they always hear boos or silence?

Couples with the most problems are often the ones that say, “I just don’t understand him/her.”

So let me ask you: How knowledgeable are you about your mate’s profession or the degree they are pursuing? Do you know anything about their family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation about her cross-stitch hobby or his interest in football? If you are a man, do you understand what women experience during PMS or menopause?

You don’t need to be identical, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest your partner in life and you’ll grow closer as a result.

Does your partner want children? Do you both want careers? Do they have a history of spending like crazy their way into debt? Do they go to church?

In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get married.

I guess people think they’ll be able to change their spouses after marriage and everything will be better. Wrong. If you fail to sit down and discuss finances, religion, sex, housing, money, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your days.

In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals in life, there’s no guarantee that chemistry or a lot of “I love you’s” will help you stay together.

Make it your utmost priority to understand each other ‘inside-out’ BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle, and it really does not matter where you met, even if it was a dating site like planty of fish, what counts is that you put into action some of the tips you have just read in this article, good luck.

Have you ever wondered why you and your spouse fight day in and day out, why you both seem miserable about your marriage and yet you often come across couples who seem to have been married for aeons and are still happy and blissful? Yeah, I know you often think these “happily wedded for 10 years or 20 years” couples are just faking it, but in reality they are not. It is just that they look at marriage differently and treat each other differently from the run of the mill couples.

You can preserve your marital bliss even after 10 to 15 years a marriage by being able to look at each other and treat each other exactly the same way as you did during your honeymoon period. Don’t think that after 15 years of wedding when you have become parents to ten year old kids, you have outgrown your intimacy.

You must kiss each other, hug each other, stroke and bite each other and ruffle the hair and give encouraging pats on the back. Don’t let the love disappear and don’t feel you are too old to demonstrate that love. Life beyond the boundaries of your home is harsh and ruthless. Remember, you both rely on each other for company and emotional security.

Treat your spouse with respect and this respect should come both ways. If you are always pulling each other down,screaming and shouting,there is no way that your marriage will succeed.

You have to constantly make each other feel special even a decade after getting married. For e.g. These days its so much more easier to keep in touch with your partner through internet and text messages. Send each other naughty or general or cheeky mails and sms from office throughout the day, leave a “good morning honey, I hope your day goes well” kinds of messages on the washroom mirror or under the toilet seat or on the refrigerator door before leaving for office.

Share each others’ problems and burdens and keep connected to each other and talk your heart out on the bed before you go to sleep at night. The night should be seen as an opportunity to snuggle in your husband's arms. In short, leave the lines of communication open in your marriage at all times.

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There are many positives that you stand to gain from by arriving at a mutually agreed divorce mediation agreement: it is less costly while it also helps save time and of course it can help save both parties a lot of money in not having to go through litigation and pay for expensive legal aid.

Quick Conclusion Through Divorce Mediation Agreement

There are many benefits to be had in thrashing out a divorce mediation agreement as you can conclude your divorce quickly and this means that you have less to worry about and you also get a better chance to move on in life. When it involves your children, divorce through a divorce mediation agreement can prove to be a huge relief as you can thrash out issues in a way that benefits your children which in turn ensures greater peace of mind for both parents.

The fact of the matter is that without a divorce mediation agreement you would end up wasting your time and money and effort in arguing and taking extreme positions that will not do anything good for anyone concerned. It pays to take whatever help you can get in order to thrash out a divorce mediation agreement.

Hiring an attorney can certainly help pave the way for arrival of a divorce mediation agreement. Both parties can then sit together and be in touch with one another and let the other know of their penchants that are a helpful first step in arriving at a mutually agreeable settlement. The process of separation is hurtful and it means going through a process in which you will feel anger and remorse and hurt and frustration as too sadness and even denial.

Paying a mediator to talk things out with the other party feels like this can easily submerge you and so have a better chance of coming to a divorce mediation agreement. This means that it is a win-win situation for everyone and that is why many people use divorce mediation to arrive at a well constructed divorce mediation agreement.

The divorce mediation agreement marks the culmination of a process of healing and also the beginning of a new life. It of course pays to first think things over and after careful consideration decide whether or not divorce is the best option for you. When it concerns cases of physical abuse or neglect or when it means enduring sexual abuse and even verbal abuse then there are good enough grounds to separate and live your lives separately.

Making use of available tips on the divorce filing process can stand you in good stead even if you already have some experience in filing for divorce. For the uninitiated of course learning about the divorce filing process can prove to be especially helpful as it can make the entire process less painful and easier to go through with. For understanding the divorce filing process including giving you an idea as to what you should expect from the entire process starting from taking the first step of initiating the proceedings to carrying out with the process and reaching a positive result there are many guidelines are available that can help you.

Divorce Filing Process: Know Your Rights

The first thing that you need to learn in regard to the divorce filing process is what your rights are. Most couples when they file for divorce will generally be ignorant of their exact rights and so will not be able to put forth their propositions in the best manner possible. This can prove to be detrimental to their cause and will mean suffering from angst later on unless of course they had taken the pains to have learnt about their rights at the very outset.

The second important factor to learning about the divorce filing process is being sure about what this process is and what its ramifications are. You must be absolutely clear in your mind in regard to what the divorce filing process is which means also learning to understand the different types of divorce processes including the “Absolute Divorce” and “Limited Divorce”.

Third off, understanding the divorce filing process is one part of the equation: the other part is to hire the best divorce lawyer who is an expert in handling such cases and who will help and guide you through the entire process while also making you aware of your rights and showing you how to go through with the process.

And, you also need to look at another important facet of the divorce filing process which is understands the costs involved. So, before hiring a lawyer you need to be sure that you can afford their fees and in addition you should be comfortable in dealing with the lawyer you plan on hiring.

Last but not least, know the divorce filing process by understanding the terms of the divorce which will help you deal with each different stage of the entire process of filing for divorce.

It also pays to understand what divorce mediation is and how you can make use of it to derive benefits to make the entire divorce filing process more positive for you. Mediation is a step that allows both parties to talk things over in a more rational manner and it gives each party a better chance to sort things out calmly and without taking extreme positions.