Posts Tagged ‘relationships’
How to Choose Your Battles In A Relationship
Do you have the feeling that everyday conflicts are becoming harder to tolerate?
Do you have a feeling that you need to defeat the other, in order to restore the balance?
Let’s discuss how to manage interpersonal conflicts to avoid the “winner” “looser” idea in a situation…
There are some reasons to explain why you think that “winning” over an argument will allow you to move on with the problem.
Maybe because of the most common perspective that you fight for a scarce resource; forcing you to “fight for the last bottle of water.”
The problem is when it only about “winning” you will see the opponent as someone that has to be defeated, transforming the person you love into an ‘enemy’.
The battle scenario would look like this:
- The bad one is competing with you for a scare resource.
- As result of this situation only one of you can be a winner:
- If you attack first, he will counter attack..
- If he move first, you will feel compelled to react and ‘defend’ your self.
- Whatever course of action, the only possible issue will be escalating the dispute.
Things to note here:
- Even if you want to avoid the conflict, inaction will create the conditions for the other to do the first move forcing you to react.
- Unless you step back and find another way, there can not be a real winner.
Even if you win over the resources, the price to pay is undermining your relationship. - If you too afraid to take action and radically change the way you approach this confrontations, the only option left is to fight.
- Unresolved confrontations can lead to more tension in the relationship.
- Failed communication leads to more isolation, pain, and anger.
Now if your repeat this scenario over and over, the value of your relationship will decrease with each round..
What do you really need to change this pattern?
Remember the real “relationship” lies beneath. It is alive and well and full of love.
Just don’t make this small ‘negotiation’ compromise your relationship.
Managing conflicts through positive techniques can help you learn more ways to resolve conflicts.
PS: Need Results fast? get your Freen copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts: Transforming Confrontations into Relationship Harmony,”
How to See Conflict as a Positive Event
Do you currently feel that confronting is a sure lose a loved one?
Are you somewhat skeptical of the idea of ‘positive conflicts’?
What if conflicts provide the seeds for a change?
What if a confrontation was not a message of reject, but a reach out for help and recognition?
Think about your reasons to confront someone..
When you initiate a confrontation, ,
Is it that You feel the need of recognition and confirmation from your partner?
OR
It is because you want to destroy your relationship or harm your the other party?
You would say that it is about recognition and confirmation.
You would not know exactly how to react when you are in the midst of confrontation.
Positive conflict techniques will allow you to negotiate your point while giving your partner the same recognition.
This is what you need to know about conflict:
- Conflict can be recognized at an early time, giving you a chance to control things before they get out of hand.
- Conflict is inevitable, it is a part of every relationship, and it’s needed. Without it, the relationship may stall, and die.
- Although inevitable, once accepted and planned for, conflict can be minimized, diverted, managed and resolved.
- Don’t be surprised or scared by it, just be prepared.
- There are strategies for resolution that are available and DO work.
- You can always determine what needs change in your relationship.
Some people think that conflicts and confrontations are to be avoided at all costs.
As a result, they get so good at avoiding them, that they are blocked by their own limitations, reaching always the same dead ends.
But how can you void this trap?
If you see that each conflict is an opportunity to get you two closer, if confrontations can be used to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, then there is no need to fear losing your loved ones. Confrontation is not only to clash forces or ideas but it is an opportunity to build a more solid foundation in your relationship..
Neil Warner
PS: Need Results fast?
Visit our site and get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts“
Relationships Discussed
The One Thing All Women Should Know About Talking To Men
Bond take part in a very important role in any ones living. Wrecked relationships can be upsetting and destroying and glad relationships can take you to the seventh sky. Primary of all, let me tell you the very truth, there is no relationship which is one hundred percent problem free. You surely have problems in every relationship. Folks telling they are having fun a relationship without any issues and troubles are surely not telling the fact.
One thing is very evident, since the origin of Adam and Eve that few problems do stay in each and every relationship. There absolutely and honestly no way that you can have a cent percent stress free and ideal relationship. But, it does not mean that one should feel dishearten and upset that a marriage or a relationship is all about troubles and tensions. It isn’t. It does give you a lot of pleasures and happiness as well, but unfortunately when some problems or issues come up most of us just give up.
Why the issue might come up? One very simple cause is that when you just start a relationship you are much liberant on the way to your partner and slowly you wobbly that patience. Another reason might be the commitments were made and are not completed till date or may be just your spouse or partner developed interest in someone else.
A lot of the time it can be ripping your heart or ripping you apart when you draw closer along such problems. A woman or a guy together did fantasize a lot regarding this relationship and it does break them evidently when things are not going correctly. One should never loose confidence and keep thinking positively. Positive and optimistic thinking can do only better, they will not harm you in any way.
Suppose, you are having a troublesome relationship going on, you may not be on talking terms, it’s been weeks may be you had a good physical relation or did not have even a cup of feast in a pleasant surrounding, you stil can work it out. Nil in this world of miracles and surprise is impractical if you are determined to do it with a very positive thought.
Primary thing you need to do is, sit and relax. Listen to some tune, chat with a few associates or just watch a fun movie and you will definitely feel improved. Now, with a very free brain think about what is false and where? Be fair, and try to pin point your own mistakes as well.
Once you know the reasons, write them on a piece of paper and think about some plans to start with to make your relationship better. You can even suggest a counsellor or a trustworthy friend of yours and then execute all those plans with a positive thought and few expectations from your spouse. Yes, truly if you minimize your expectations it will make you feel better. Things will definitely work out.
In the worst situations if your spouse is having another affair, I am sorry but it is wise to step out the relationship as you can not continue things like this cogently as well as the most important thing in any relationship is your self esteem and self respect. If your spouse is dishonest and is slightest bothered about your self esteem than it is the time you say bye. Faith me it will not bother you much as living goes on and nothing is the final of the world.
My conclusion is be honest, respect your spouse and think positively but if something comes up which is untruthful on your partner’s behalf quit the relationship, as the foundation of any relationship close to exactness is honesty and trust. To learn more and to buy cheap world of warcraft gold.
Dealing with Uncontrolled Anger
Do you wonder why your strong emotion hurt your partner and destroy a good relationship?
Can you overcome your anger, instead of being overcome by it? Yes- if you change your mindset and attitude. This means that you must stop making excuses for your bad temper. You must bear in mind that anger is your enemy!
Uncontrolled anger can be very devastating. It can reveal your true nature. Anger is a negative emotion and it shatters relationship and breeds violence.
Is It Good To “Let it Rip?”
If you are using this excuse to hurt others, what you do not know is that it escalates anger and it does not help to resolve the situation.
To solve the problem of anger you must recognize the anger within your mind. You must apply practical methods in your daily life to control your anger.
To stop your uncontrolled behavior, you must know its symptoms. You will learn how to recognize them and stop it at an earlier time.
These are the symptoms of uncontrolled behavior:
- Always thinking about detailed plans to commit acts of violence
- Threatening others
- Failing to acknowledge the feelings of others
- Feeling rejected
- Withdrawal from friends
- Loss of temper
So what is the best solution?
You should find out what triggers your anger and then develop strategies to control your anger.
You may also want to ask yourself these questions :
Is your anger important or reasonable enough?
Is it possible that you are responsible for making the situation complicated?
Some ways to help you control your anger:
Anger Management can help you learn to control your reactions or get rid of the things that enrage you
- Simple relaxation tools can calm down angry feelings such as deep breathing, yoga-like exercises, visualization of a relaxed experience
- It helps if you change your environment where you can have a fresh view of things and get away from the usual and irritating place.
- Choose less hurtful words and don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, think carefully about what you want to say.
- Use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Don’t use sarcastic humor because it will still escalate anger
- Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
- Anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational so always remind yourself that you’re just experiencing some hard times in your life.
Every problem has a solution. But the best mentality is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.
Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts“
You may also want to check out this online anger management class
Don’t Let Anger Destroy Your Relationship
Building longer and peaceful relationship with someone is one source of happiness.
We all want to build a loving and lasting relationship but it is not that easy. Some things happen beyond your control and you find yourself unable to handle it.
One of the hindrances in loving relationships is anger. Anger is a strong emotion. Whether you choose express it or not, it is still one thing that is going to do some damage.
What if you have ever loved someone who was angry at the world? Can you imagine what your life would be like in the years to come?
When one becomes really angry it creates a need to try to control everything. The effects of being angry is the damage done to the relationship. The effects of anger can progress from mild irritation, to yelling or maybe physical abuse.
You may argue or fight intensely and anger seems to boil in degrees.
But ask yourself:
Does this help our relationship healthy?
Here’s some facts about anger and how it can destroy your relationship:
- Anger can quickly destroy a relationship that has been good for a long time.
- Your self-esteem and confidence can be affected by anger.
- - Anger does affect trust and love.
- Anger is full of uncertainty and fear, it makes you say and do things that you will regret.
Too much anger in your relationship can affect the intimacy between you and your partner.Being in a chaotic situation will make you unhappy and can cause more ill feelings that would eventually destroy your intimacy.
Trust and honesty can be destroyed by anger so easily and it wears off intimacy in your relationship. Harsh words, criticism and non-acceptance are the causes of anger and this can affect the intimacy of your relationship.
Anger can also cause blaming and criticism where you lash out at each other’s feelings.
Blaming and criticizing also leads to a lack of intimacy and even more conflict in the long run.
If your relationship is truly valuable and you want to protect the emotional bond you that you have invested, the two of you should accept and understand each other. Do not allow anyone of you to erupt into criticism. Instead, find ways to discuss it in a civilized manner with a clear mind and open heart.
To your happiness!
Neil Warner,
PS: To know more on Anger Management,
Visit our Site “Positive Conflicts“
Emotional Abuse: How Its Affects You
If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship for a long time, you may loose your ‘inner compass’ and can become convinced that you are not worthy of love and respect.
Try to honestly answer this questions to yourself:
- Is your ultimate fear to be left alone, without no one to love you?
- Do you sacrifice your own wishes, just to please your partner?
- If your partner abuses you, do you become submissive?
- Do you do things that you do not like just to make your partner feel good?
If you are in a relationship wherein emotional abuse happens everyday, the effects are dangerous than any form of abuse because it can be frequent. Emotional abuse can be subtle, it makes you feel that you are the problem or it is your problem. It makes you doubt your self-worth and erodes your self-esteem.
Here are the negative effects of long-term emotional abuse:
- Low self-esteem
- Emotional Stress
- Health Problems
- Depression
- Isolation
- Alcohol or drug use
You may seem introverted, quiet, or may appear confident and extrovert, which is an act to fool the outside world so that you can hide the humiliation you are experiencing. You may have deliberately chosen not to seek help but decided to deal with it. But ongoing contact can drag you back in the abusive situation again and again.
You must try to do something if your partner is unwilling to seek help or knowledge.
The recovery process is long and painful. In the end, you may decide to hurt yourself, it may influence your mentality. Long-term emotional abuse may result to suicide. You would feel unlovable and unworthy.
Proper counseling will help stop this chain of suffering once and for all.
To your happiness,
Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts
Claim your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship‘
A Young Couple Evaluates Their Drinking Behavior and Their Short and Long-Term Aspirations, Dreams, and Hopes
Merissa and Augie have been seeing one another for four years. They met while taking the same botany class at a relatively large, countryside, Church affiliated liberal arts college located in the Northern part of the U.S. While they were mostly good buddies at first, they finally began dating when they were in their first year of college.
Given the fact that both of them came from very strict backgrounds, neither one of them drank very much beyond the experimental stage when they first began dating. As the time progressed, however, they started to go to more sorority and fraternity parties, keg parties, football bashes, and happy hours. Consequently, they in a step-by-step fashion began to drink increasingly more the more they saw one another.
Their Social Life Usually Consisted of Going to Happy Hour With Their Friends, Going to Parties With Their Friends, Going to Restaurants Three or Four Nights Per Week, Going to Professional Sporting Events, and Going With Their Friends to the Local Cabaret on the Weekends
After they graduated, they both found employment in a small city that was just about fifty-five miles from their undergraduate college. Then they finally decided to move in with one another.
Since they were far removed from the college drinking scene, nevertheless, their social life generally consisted of going to parties with their friends, going to restaurants three or four nights per week, going to professional sporting events, going to happy hour with their friends, and going to the local disco with their pals on the weekends. Stated simply, Merissa and Augie began drinking in an irresponsible manner.
Now that they were living in the same apartment with one another and beginning to get more committed to their relationship, nonetheless, they began to think about becoming more responsible, buying a house, getting married, and having children.
With any momentous adjustment in a person’s life there is commonly a trigger the particular alteration in question. For Merissa and Augie the thought of buying a new house and having children was this “trigger.” Stated another way, for the first time in their lives, Merissa and Augie began to critically evaluate their abusive and hazardous drinking and the long term effects of alcohol on their lives.
How Would Their Heavy Drinking Affect Their Ability to Have Children, Their Relationship With Their Parents, Their Relationship With One Another, Their Mental Health, and Their Finances?
Would their irresponsible and hazardous drinking adversely affect their ability to have children? How would they be able to continue spending a large percentage of their money on drinking if they were to begin saving for a new house? How adult-like would they be if they had children and continued to drink in an abusive and hazardous manner? How would they be able to face their parents and tell them about their long term hopes, dreams, and aspirations while they still drank in an excessive and abusive manner while having fun as they did when they were in college? What would their excessive drinking do to their relationship? How would their heavy and hazardous drinking affect their mental health?
From a different slant on things, although neither one of them ever suffered from alcohol poisoning, received a DUI, or experienced alcohol withdrawals, they realized that their hazardous and abusive drinking was becoming an issue that they could not ”sweep under the rug” anymore.
After Giving Their State of Affairs Considerable Thought, Merissa and Augie Grasped the Fact That Their Aspirations, Hopes, and Dreams Would not be Made Real if They Continued Their Abusive and Excessive Drinking
All of these queries without a doubt resulted in the same conclusion: Merissa and Augie needed to be more aware that they couldn’t continue their excessive and heavy drinking if their dreams, aspirations, and hopes were to be brought to fruition.
Once they came to this conclusion, they alerted their drinking buddies about their goal of buying or building a new house, about their plans to start a family, and about their marital plans. They also told their drinking friends that they still wanted to associate with them but that they would be drinking responsibly from this time forward so that they could begin realizing their future dreams, hopes, and plans.
Unexpectedly, all of their friends expressed relief because they too had been reexamining their lives and concluded that their life-styles were much too frequently centered around drinking. They also understood that they would have to change fundamentally if they were to become more responsible and exhibit more forethought for their aspirations, their careers, and for their health in the next fifteen or twenty years.
After their candid discussion with their pals about their goals, aspirations, and dreams, Augie and Merissa essentially started to have more meaningful relationships with all of their buddies. The primary reason for this was the fact that all of them had a similar outlook regarding their drinking behavior and their relatively short and long-term plans, aspirations, and goals.
A Young Couple Assesses Their Heavy and Abusive Drinking and Their Short and Long-Term Dreams, Aspirations, and Hopes
Augie and Merissa have been dating one another for seven years. They met while taking the same criminology class at a relatively large, rural, Church affiliated liberal arts college located in the far Western part of the United States. While they were only good buddies at first, they eventually started to date when they were in their third year of college.
Because both of them came from very ”old school” backgrounds, neither one of them drank much beyond the testing stage when they first started to date. As the time passed by, however, they began to go to more happy hours, keg parties, sorority and fraternity parties, and football bashes. As a result, they slowly but surely began to drink increasingly more the longer they dated.
Their Social Life Regularly Consisted of Going to Professional Sporting Events, Going to Happy Hour With Their Friends, Going to Restaurants Three or Four Nights Per Week, Going to Parties With Their Friends, and Going With Their Friends to the Local Watering Hole on the Weekends
After they graduated from college, they both got jobs in a relatively large city that was nearly ninety-five miles from their undergraduate college. Then they eventually decided to move into the same apartment together.
Due to the fact they were far removed from the college drinking scene, however, their social life as a rule consisted of going to happy hour with their friends, going to restaurants three or four nights per week, going to professional sporting events, going to parties with their friends, and going to the local club with their buddies on the weekends. To put it simply, Augie and Merissa began drinking in a hazardous and excessive manner.
Now that they were living with each other and beginning to get more serious about their relationship, nonetheless, they began thinking about becoming more responsible, getting married, buying a house, and having children.
With any noteworthy change in a person’s life there is typically something that initiates the particular modification in question. For Augie and Merissa the idea of having children and buying a new house was this “change agent.” In brief, for the first time in their lives, Merissa and Augie began to think about their abusive and irresponsible drinking and the long term alcohol effects on their lives.
How Would Their Excessive and Abusive Drinking Affect Their Finances, Their Ability to Have Children, Their Relationship With One Another, Their Relationship With Their Parents, and Their Mental Health?
Would their abusive and excessive drinking unfavorably affect their ability to have children? How would they be able to continue spending so much money on drinking if they were to start saving for a new house? How adult-like would they be if they had children and continued to drink in an excessive and irresponsible manner? How would they be able to face their parents and tell them about their long term hopes, plans, and dreams while they still drank in a hazardous and excessive manner while having fun as they did when they were in college? What would their irresponsible and excessive drinking do to their relationship? How would their abusive and excessive drinking affect their mental health?
From a different slant on things, although neither one of them ever suffered from alcohol poisoning, received a DUI, or experienced alcohol withdrawal symptoms, they realized that their excessive and abusive drinking was becoming a troublesome issue that they could not ”sweep under the carpet” any longer.
After Giving Their State of Affairs Much Deliberation, Augie and Merissa Finally Understood That Their Dreams, Goals, and Aspirations Would not be Accomplished if They Continued Their Excessive and Abusive Drinking
All of these questions without a doubt led to the same conclusion: Merissa and Augie needed to be more aware that they couldn’t continue their hazardous and heavy drinking if their aspirations, dreams, and hopes were to be completed.
Once they got to this conclusion, they notified their drinking buddies about their marital plans, about their goal of buying or building a new house, and about their plans to start a family. They also told their drinking pals that they still wanted to associate with them but that they would be drinking in strict moderation from this time forward so that they could start realizing their future aspirations, dreams, and goals.
Much to their disbelief, all of their pals expressed relief because they too had been taking into account the direction of their lives and concluded that their life-styles were totally centered around drinking. They also thought that they would have to change radically if they were to become more mature and display more forethought for their health, their plans, and for their careers in the next fifteen or twenty years.
After their candid discussion with their buddies about their goals, dreams, and aspirations, Merissa and Augie in actual fact started to have more meaningful relationships with all of their buddies. The primary reason for this was the fact that all of them had a similar mentality regarding their excessive drinking and their relatively short and long-term goals, plans, and aspirations.
A Young Couple Reviews Their Drinking Behavior and Their Short and Long-Term Dreams, Plans, and Hopes
Merissa and Augie have been going out for four-and-a-half years. They met while taking the same entrepreneurship class at a small, rural, liberal arts college located in the Southern part of the United States. While they were only good friends at first, they finally started dating when they were in their third year of college.
Since both of them came from very traditional backgrounds, neither one of them drank very much beyond the casual drinking stage when they first started to date. As the time went by, nevertheless, they started to go to more sorority and fraternity parties, football bashes, keg parties, and happy hours. As a consequence, they little by little began to drink more the longer they dated.
Their Social Life Generally Consisted of Going to Happy Hour With Their Friends, Going to Restaurants Three or Four Nights Per Week, Going to Parties With Their Friends, Going to Professional Sporting Events, and Going With Their Friends to the Local Disco on the Weekends
After they graduated, they both found employment in a medium size city located just about sixty miles from their undergraduate college. Then they decided to move into the same apartment with one another.
Since they were far removed from the college drinking scene, however, their social life typically consisted of going to happy hour with their friends, going to restaurants three or four nights per week, going to professional sporting events, going to parties with their friends, and going to the local watering hole with their buddies on the weekends. Simply put, Augie and Merissa began drinking in an irresponsible manner.
Now that they were living with each other and beginning to get more earnest about their relationship, then again, they started thinking about becoming more responsible, having children, buying a house, and getting married.
With any substantial modification in a person’s life there is normally something that initiates the specific alteration in question. For Merissa and Augie the idea of having children and buying a new house was this “trigger.” Stated more forcefully, for the first time in their lives, Merissa and Augie began to critically evaluate their irresponsible and hazardous drinking and the long term alcohol effects on their lives.
How Would Their Hazardous and Excessive Drinking Affect Their Relationship With One Another, Their Finances, Their Relationship With Their Parents, Their Ability to Have Children, and Their Mental Health?
Would their excessive drinking negatively affect their ability to have children? How would they be able to continue spending most of their money on drinking if they were to begin saving for a new house? How responsible would they be if they had children and continued to drink in a hazardous manner? How would they be able to face their parents and tell them about their long term plans, dreams, and hopes while they still drank in an abusive and irresponsible manner while having fun as they did when they were in college? What would their excessive and irresponsible drinking do to their relationship? How would their irresponsible and excessive drinking affect their mental health?
From a different line of reasoning, although neither one of them ever suffered from alcohol poisoning, received a DUI, or experienced alcohol withdrawal symptoms, they realized that their abusive drinking was becoming a reality that they could not disregard anymore.
After Giving Their Situation Much Deliberation, Merissa and Augie Grasped the Fact That Their Dreams, Aspirations, and Goals Would not be Brought to Fruition if They Continued Their Excessive Drinking
All of these inquiries plainly pointed to the same conclusion: Augie and Merissa needed to understand more fully that they couldn’t continue their abusive and excessive drinking if their hopes, aspirations, and dreams were to be attained.
Once they came to this conclusion, they advised their drinking pals about their marital plans, about their goal of buying or building a new house, and about their plans to start a family. They also told their drinking buddies that they still wanted to pal around with them but that they would be drinking responsibly from this point forward so that they could begin realizing their future dreams, goals, and aspirations.
Much to their disbelief, all of their buddies expressed relief because they too had been taking into account the direction of their lives and concluded that their life-styles were too focused on drinking. They also realized that they would have to change substantially if they were to become more mature and show more forethought for their careers, their health, and for their plans in the next twenty or twenty-five years.
After their candid discussion with their pals about their dreams, goals, and aspirations, Augie and Merissa in actual fact started to have more meaningful relationships with all of their friends. The fundamental reason for this was the fact that all of them had the same state of mind regarding their irresponsible drinking and their relatively short and long-term plans, goals, and aspirations.
A Young Couple Evaluates Their Abusive Drinking and Their Short and Long-Term Hopes, Dreams, and Plans
Merissa and Augie have been in a dating relationship for eight-and-a-half years. They met while taking the same Japanese history class at a medium size, countryside, private liberal arts college located in the far Western part of the United States. While they were in actual fact good buddies at first, they eventually began dating when they were in their first year of college.
Since both of them came from very ”old school” backgrounds, neither one of them drank much beyond the testing stage when they first started to date. As the time passed by, however, they started to go to more football bashes, happy hours, keg parties, and sorority and fraternity parties. As a result, they in a step-by-step fashion began to drink more as time went by.
Their Social Life Typically Consisted of Going to Restaurants Three or Four Nights Per Week, Going to Parties With Their Friends, Going to Professional Sporting Events, Going to Happy Hour With Their Friends, and Going With Their Friends to the Local Watering Hole on the Weekends
After they graduated, they both got jobs in a small city that was roughly ninety miles from their undergraduate college. Then they finally determined that they would move in with one another.
Since they were far removed from the college drinking scene, then again, their social life regularly consisted of going to happy hour with their friends, going to parties with their friends, going to professional sporting events, going to restaurants three or four nights per week, and going to the local bar with their friends on the weekends. In a word, Augie and Merissa began drinking in a hazardous and abusive manner.
Now that they were living in the same apartment together and beginning to get more unwavering about their relationship, nonetheless, they began to think about buying a house, having children, getting married, and becoming more responsible.
With any big alteration in an individual’s life there is often something that initiates the specific change in question. For Augie and Merissa the idea of having children and buying a new house was this “source of change.” Stated more precisely, for the first time in their lives, Augie and Merissa began to critically appraise their abusive drinking and the long term effects of alcohol on their health.
How Would Their Abusive and Irresponsible Drinking Affect Their Relationship With One Another, Their Finances, Their Relationship With Their Parents, Their Mental Health, and Their Ability to Have Children?
Would their abusive and irresponsible drinking unfavorably affect their ability to have children? How would they be able to continue spending most of their money on drinking if they were to start saving for a new house? How responsible would they be if they had children and continued to drink in an abusive manner? How would they be able to face their parents and tell them about their long term aspirations, hopes, and dreams while they still drank in an irresponsible and abusive manner while having fun as they did when they were in college? What would their hazardous and irresponsible drinking do to their relationship? How would their irresponsible and abusive drinking affect their mental health?
From a different line of reasoning, although neither one of them ever suffered from alcohol poisoning, received a DUI, or experienced alcohol withdrawal symptoms, they realized that their abusive and excessive drinking was becoming an issue that they could not ”sweep under the carpet” any longer.
After Giving Their Circumstances Some Serious Deliberation, Merissa and Augie Concluded That Their Hopes, Plans, and Dreams Would not be Fulfilled if They Continued Their Excessive and Abusive Drinking
All of these queries clearly pointed to the same conclusion: Augie and Merissa needed to get a more complete picture of the fact that they couldn’t continue their abusive and excessive drinking if their dreams, plans, and hopes were to be reached.
Once they came to this conclusion, they advised their drinking buddies about their plans to start a family, about their marital plans, and about their goal of buying or building a new house. They also told their drinking buddies that they still wanted to hang out with them but that they would be drinking responsibly from this time forward so that they could start to realize their future goals, aspirations, and dreams.
Much to their disbelief, all of their buddies expressed relief because they too had been reassessing their lives and concluded that their life-styles were totally centered around drinking. They also believed that they would have to change extensively if they were to become more mature and manifest more respect for their goals, their health, and for their careers in the next ten or fifteen years.
After their heart-to-heart chat with their pals about their hopes, dreams, and plans, Augie and Merissa in essence started to have more meaningful relationships with all of their friends. The fundamental reason for this was the fact that all of them had a similar mindset regarding their heavy and abusive drinking and their relatively short and long-term plans, aspirations, and goals.